解放军文职招聘考试Losers

 Losers

Although people are born to win, they are also born helpless and totally dependent on their environ­ment. Winners successfully make the transition from total helplessness to independence, and then to inter­dependence. Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid becoming self-responsible.

Few people are total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to them in childhood.

A lack of response to dependency needs, poor nu­trition, brutality, unhappy relationships, disease, con­tinuing disappointments, inadequate physical care, and traumatic events are among the many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experi­ences interrupt, deter, or prevent the normal progress toward autonomy and self-actualization. To cope with negative experiences a child learns to manipulate him­self and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up later in life and often become set pat­terns. A winner works to shed them. A loser hangs on to them.

A loser represses his capacity to express spontane­ously and appropriately his full range of possible behav­ior. He may be unaware of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo. He is a repeater. He repeats not only his own mistakes, but al­so those of his family and culture.

A loser has difficulty giving and receiving affec­tion. He does not enter into intimate, honest, direct relationships with others. Instead, he tries to manipu­late them into living up to his expectations and chan­nels his energies into living up to their expectations.