2020湖南普通专升本：英语优秀范文及老师点评赏析

今天小编给大家带来一篇英语优秀范文给同学们参考，这篇英语作文有老师的精彩点评，希望同学们认真查看，可以有所学习。
同时，在以后小编会不定期的推送优秀范文和老师的精彩点评给同学们参考，不仅仅是英语范文还有语文作文等，敬请期待。
（加粗部分为老师批改和点评）
专升本：英语优秀范文及老师点评
On Excessive Packaging
In the fast-moving society，there's an increasingly serious social phenomenon of excessive package.Various products with exquisite packaging are displayed in malls，catering to some individuals who are keen on that goods.Such as clothes，cosmetics and so on.
Three factors weigh heavily for this problem.First of all，a number of consumers believe that the more elegant the package is，the higher the quality will be.And some persons would like to purchase these goods as gifts to satisfy their all kinds of consumption psychology.In the next place，in order to obtain greater economic benefits（profits），some enterprises upgrade products packaging constantly.A third contributing factor is the inadequate laws and regulations.Providing enterprises lack of the corresponding integrity legal system（句子的结构，providing后面最好充当结果状语，改为making enterprises lacking the~），it（which）will lead to market disorder.
From where I stand，the whole society should pay close attention to the problem of excessive packaging.Above all，our government ought to perfect policies and regulations，and increase penalties for excessive packaging，making illegal enterprises pay higher costs.In addition，various news media should strengthen publicity and guidance，which advocates healthy and environmentally friendly consumption concept，guiding businesses to enhance their sense of social responsibility and awareness of integrity.Last but not least，our consumers are supposed to set up correct，rational and scientific consumption consciousness.
I，as a college student，am convinced that it is of great significance for youngest to insist on reasonable consumption consciousness.If every member is willing to contribute himself to the society，it will be better and better.
整篇文章从用词方面写得都不错，第二段的第二点可以适当再扩充下。继续努力