干货：外国老师手把手教雅思写作，据说这样写能得高分

 

 

 

 

 

 

题目： Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for the charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

首先找到议论核心：unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes （免费公共服务是否算入高中课程必修内容）

 

现在，让我们确认中心话题：

 

中心话题是：unpaid community service

 

接下来找到控制因素：

 

控制因素是: high school, program, compulsory

 

现在，我们可以写出一个hook（翻译过来是“钩子”，是外国写作的习语，意思是首先吸引人注意的一句，也就是开头的第一句）

 

HOOK: Unpaid community service is often encouraged among students.

 

现在我们可以改编议论核心：

 

It is proposed that high school curriculums should include compulsory unpaid community service.

 

现在我们开始写很重要的一部分：主题陈述

 

I concur that unpaid community service should be made part of high school programmes.

 

把以上的内容综合起来，成为了我们的开头

 

Unpaid community service is often encouraged among students that there are now propositions of making it a compulsory part of high school curriculums. I believe that doing is a good move.

 

因为这是一个同意/不同意性质的题目，文章的主干就应该包含主题陈述的原因，那么，我们现在可以列出为什么觉得这是个good move的原因。

 

REASON1: Doing so helps develop empathy among students.

 

REASON2: Doing so will help students develop survival skills.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

我们不需要列出一大串原因因为这会耗费很多时间，而且也并不必要。

 

我们现在开始尝试写中心句，细节以及例子，细节是中心句的解释，我们先拿REASON 1开始写。

 

中心句: Making unpaid community service obligatory in high school ensures that students also develop empathy as they go through their education.

 

细节&例子： schools are not only responsible for developing students’ academic performances; they are also supposed to bring out the human side of every student. An educated person is holistic, meaning he or she has both the brain and the heart to survive in this world, and a school is only successful in its endeavor to educate if its graduates are intelligent enough to innovate and at the same time empathetic enough to understand people’s needs.

 

再开始写REASON 2的

 

中心句（做了一点改编）: Apart from empathy,students need survival skills and with required community service, such skills are sure to be developed.

 

细节&例子: schools have to make sure that their students are survivors; that if met by tribulations, they will surely endure. Exposing them to the circumstances of communities allows them to understand difficulties faced by people in such places and the solutions applied on a personal level by these people to resolve such issues. Constantly immersing students in such conditions eventually uncovers their survival instincts, and they become stronger persons.

 

我们把两个部分放在一起，就是文章的主干

 

Making unpaid community service obligatory in high school ensures that students also develop empathy as they go through their education. It should be noted that schools are not only responsible for developing students’ academic performances but also in bringing out the humanity of these students. Clearly, an educated person is holistic with both the brain and the heart to survive in this world.A school, is therefore, only successful if its graduates are intelligent enough to innovate and at the same time empathetic enough to address people’s needs.

 

Apart from empathy, students need survival skills and with required community service, such skills are sure to develop. Schools have to make sure that their students, if met by tribulations, will surely endure and survive; otherwise, the school has failed in developing a strong citizenry. Exposing students to circumstances of communities allows them to understand difficulties faced by people every day and the solutions applied on a personal level by these people to resolve their issues.Constantly immersing students in such conditions eventually uncovers their survival instincts, and they become stronger persons.

 

 

 

 

 

 

现在我们开始写结尾，记住结尾需要重申一遍主题陈述，而且要总结观点，还可以提出倡议。

 

主题陈述的重申: Unpaid community service is indeed a suitable part of high school curriculums.

 

观点总结: It develops empathy and survival instincts among students.

 

倡议: The society needs not only intelligent people, but benevolent fighters of goodwill.

 

把以上三点连起来就是结尾了.

 

Unpaid community service proves suitable as a curricular requirement in high school as it develops empathy and survival instincts among students, who need not only be intelligent. Ultimately, the society needs not only intelligent people, but benevolent fighters of goodwill.

 

现在，我们把开头，主干和结尾连起来，就是一篇完整的高分作文啦～

 

Unpaid community service is often encouraged among students that there are now propositions of making it a compulsory part of high school curriculums. I believe that doing is a good move.

 

Making unpaid community service obligatory in high school ensures that students also develop empathy as they go through their education. It should be noted that schools are not only responsible for developing students’ academic performances but also in bringing out the humanity of these students. Clearly, an educated person is holistic with both the brain and the heart to survive in this world.A school, is therefore, only successful if its graduates are intelligent enough to innovate and at the same time empathetic enough to address people’s needs.

 

Apart from empathy, students need survival skills and with required community service, such skills are sure to develop. Schools have to make sure that their students, if met by tribulations, will surely endure and survive; otherwise, the school has failed in developing a strong citizenry. Exposing students to circumstances of communities allows them to understand difficulties faced by people every day and the solutions applied on a personal level by these people to resolve their issues. Constantly immersing students in such conditions eventually uncovers their survival instincts, and they become stronger persons.

 

Unpaid community service proves suitable as a curricular requirement in high school as it develops empathy and survival instincts among students, who need not only be intelligent. Ultimately, the society needs not only intelligent people, but benevolent fighters of goodwill. (251 words)