Joke: The Evolution Of Mom-Fool joke

The Evolution of Mom 

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: 

Your Clothes - 

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. 

The Baby's Name - 

1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 

2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! 

Preparing for the Birth - 

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. 

The Layette - 

1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? 

Worries - 

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby. 

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. 

Activities - 

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. 

Going Out - 

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. 

At Home - 

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.